It's been a long time. A very long time.
And honestly, after all this time, I wasn't sure I wanted to come back. Looking at this blog, looking at some of my older reviews...it's like looking at an
entirely different person.
I
know some of you, if not all of you, can empathize. I believe a side effect of blogging that
few people ever anticipate is the record- no scrapbook- of your life that you create. Looking back on your blog? It's an incredible feeling. But it is also incredibly bittersweet.
I've been cleaning up some outdated areas of my blog, like my 'fantabulous blogs' list (speaking of outdated...'fantabulous'?). And I've noticed a lot of my old friends have quietly retired from reviewing. Many died out the way I did; their last post says they know they've been absent lately, but that they will soon start posting more reviews. Most of those last posts are over a year old.
Why did I ever leave blogging? It's quite simple. Despite my protestations of too much homework, the real reason is that
I burnt out. Reviewing had lost it's joy. I began to resent the pressure of reviewing.
I began my blog during my sophomore year of high school.
It was my little secret. My corner of the world. I originally posted reviews of books I already owned. And then I received my first review request. And I discovered ARCs.
I established some publishing relationships and regularly received ARCs in a friend's PO box. You see,
not even my parents knew of my blogger involvement. And that's the way I liked it.
But one day
they found out. And while they limited my internet use, ultimately it was fine. Because reviewing books looks good on college resumes. It made me look like the kid who enjoyed book reports.
That's when things changed. As I applied to colleges,
I had to censure what I wrote. My romance reviews got set to draft. And
it wasn't my blog anymore. It was...homework.
I went to college. My reading tastes changed. I got a Goodreads account to keep track of my reading. But never posted a review. My blog gathered dust.
And then...I signed up for an English major prerequisite class. And it is amazing. It's taught by two of the most talented professor that I suspect I'll ever meet. Their class is more riveting than a play. And a musical. But perhaps slightly
less riveting than an opera (don't knock it 'til you try it).
I started posting very short, to-the-point reviews on Goodreads (this is actually where 'speed reviews' come from).
And, quite suddenly, I missed it. I missed my blog. I missed the camaraderie between those who love reading more than breathing
because reading is a choice. Breathing is a function.
So I tentatively posted a few reviews, just to see if I really wanted to return.
And the answer is yes. I want to. I want to come back.
I've missed this. I've missed
you.
So if you are out there, old friends- or even old acquaintances...or anyone who ever read my reviews or remembers my blog- say hi. It can be in comment or email or in a creepy notecard left out my bedroom window (actually, not that last one). And I wouldn't mind hearing from some new people, too.
It's just been a long journey, and I'm happy to be home. And I want to check out how the neighbors have been doing since I'll been gone.